So, my appointment was at 12:45 this afternoon. I got off to a slow start this morning and opted to take the girls for donuts for breakfast...I think the chocolate was more to calm than to treat them! Of course, I took them for donuts in my full workout gear because it's Wednesday and I definitely go to the Y on Wednesday! Well, needless to say, I just wasn't feeling it this morning. After the donut shop, the girls and I hit the Starbucks drive-thru for my usual Half-Caf, Skinny Caramel Latte with a little bit of whip for good measure...again my comfort foods. I took them to daycare and headed toward the Y, but I called Linda on the way and decided that I would be much more useful visiting her. I told her I had an hour to kill and asked if I could come keep her company...two hours later, I realized that I still hadn't showered and had an appointment in two hours....procrastinate, me? Never!! Ha! David got home shortly after I hopped in the shower, so I knew I was running way behind. We left the house around noon thinking we could grab a quick lunch before my appointment. We didn't think that one through very well and had all of ten minutes to eat before I was supposed to be there, so we had Burger King drive-thru....no worries, Whopper Jr. is about 300 calories and I scraped off the mayo which had to have been 200 of it, right? That was the first time I've had a burger in months and now I'm not so sure why I ever ate that kind of food on a regular basis....totally different topic! We ended eating on the way and got there right on time!
If you've read my previous posts, you've gotten the description of the weigh-in procedures at an oncologist's office. You weigh-in, check blood pressure, check temp, and give at least two vials of blood all during check-in...and you sit there in the lab while they run your blood through the machine. If you can figure it out, which I have, you can read the numbers on the display and see your blood counts while your waiting. Usually, I know what my platelet count is before I ever get to the exam room, but today there was an after lunch rush in the lab and was taken to the exam room before my blood was run through the machine. I had no idea what my count was which didn't ease my anxiety at all...as David says, you can tell when I'm anxious because I can't sit still and I'll talk to anyone...today it was the poor old guy who weighed in after me! When the nurse came into the exam room to review my chart and go over the procedure with me, she informed my that my platelet count was 138...awesome! That's the highest it's been in a few months! It's still below normal, but compared to the 93 at my first visit it's a great number! After she saw my count, she told me that she wanted to double check with the doc before getting me prepped for the bone marrow biopsy/aspiration. She popped her head back in a few minutes later and said that he wanted to talk with me before we did the procedure. We waited...and waited...and waited for him...good thing she didn't have me prepped because it was a little chilly in that office and I would not have enjoyed laying on an exam table with my back side out for the world to see for 30 minutes! When he came in, he went over my labs and said that he was comfortable with holding off on the biopsy for now. He said that he still felt strongly that I have ITP and would be OK with monitoring for a few more months since my count was improving. He did say that we could still do the procedure today if I preferred, but he was comfortable with waiting and watching. Naturally, I chose to go ahead with the procedure and get it over with....NOT! I'm crazy, but not that crazy! So, no bone marrow biopsy today!
Where does that leave us? Good question! We basically don't know anything more than last time, but I feel better that my numbers improved so much. I go back in two months for blood work and see the doc in four months for a follow-up. However, if I experience any increase in bleeding or bruising, I am to call and come in sooner. He seemed pretty satisfied with my levels today. He did hint at a little concern when I showed him the bruising on my arms and legs and told him that I bleed pretty much every time I brush my teeth...I actually thought he was going to change his mind and do the procedure after all when I told him about it. He said he was concerned that I was having symptoms with that platelet count, but, knowing my hesitation with the biopsy, he felt like we could wait and see. So, here I am, the evening of my dreaded bone marrow biopsy with no horror story to share! That's what I was hoping for!!
I am not going to sugarcoat this part of my story at all! Consider yourself warned!
I truly and fully believe that the only reason things went so well today was God! I have struggled and struggled over the past couple of months...it is scary to not know what is going to happen. It is so hard to sit back and trust the Lord to take care of it all. So many times I have wanted to just ball up on the floor or in the bed and just sob out of fear...maybe I did a couple of times, but He has carried me through this experience in so many ways. As you've read in previous posts, I do not share my problems easily, but through my "letting go", I have received so, so many words of encouragement and support. I don't even know who out there has been praying for us and I don't need to know, but I am so thankful and encouraged by it. I didn't really remind anyone of my appointment today, but I received several kind words from friends throughout the morning encouraging and letting me know that they were praying for me. Before we went in for my appointment, David prayed for us that the Lord would simply take care of us...not to make anything better, just care for us through whatever the outcome. I found such peace in that prayer! As I sat in the exam room waiting, my phone kept dinging with e-mails and Facebook alerts from friends praying for us. David had posted a request for prayer for me at 12:45...people I don't even know commented that they were praying. One friend post at around 12:50 that he and his wife had just prayed over our family and that the Lord would just have His hand on us. These people had no idea why they were praying for me, but they did it anyway. He knows what we need even when we don't! He cares for us....oh, how He loves us! After I found out that I wasn't going to have the procedure today, all I could say was "praise the Lord"! I was crying as I walked out the building out of joy for the Lord. Why else would today, of all days, be the day that my platelet count would be up? I had downloaded the song "Our God' by Chris Tomlin to my iPhone to listen to during the procedure today, but I didn't end up needing it. When I got into the car, that song came on the radio literally as I was shutting my door. As the song says, "and if our God is for us, then who can ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against us"! He is on our side...He's on your side!
I hear people say all the time that being a Christian is all about rules and do's and don'ts, but it is so much more than that. It is about a God, a Father, that loves you so much and wants a relationship with you. He wants to know you and shelter you and comfort you...He wants you to allow Him to do those things for you! Our God is not about being held captive from anything, it's about loving Him so much that you have no desire to do those things that hold you captive from experiencing His glory! He loves us so, so much and even when we may not feel it, He is carrying us through this world! Some would say today was coincidence....I say it's no coincidence. It is the unconditional, unfailing love of our almighty God! Let Him love you...let Him carry you! It is so worth it!
That's all for now! Sorry for the length of this post, but I couldn't get it all out in a few words...no surprise there, huh? Thank you again for all of your prayer and support...I am so blessed and thankful for each and every prayer that has been said for us! I will continue to keep you updated when I go back to the doctor. Oh, and for those who may be wondering, I still don't know about pregnancy, but right now things are looking better in that area!! No plans for anything in the near future, but it does feel better to know that it could still be a possibility!! Thanks for reading! Whether it's night or day when you read this, I hope it's a good one for you!!
No comments:
Post a Comment