Slightly Overdue

So, I think I'm a little late on this post! Where to start....hmmm.


Well, let me take you back a few months to our mission trip to New York City for City Uprising (which was an awesome experience by the way!). We had been "trying" to get pregnant for several months and were feeling pretty discouraged. I can so vividly remember going to our first worship gathering during City Uprising and discovering that I was, once again, not pregnant. (That's all the detail I'm going to give in that area!) I remember standing in the bathroom crying during a portion of that worship session because it was one more month and no baby. At this point, we had even started discussing adoption (and still haven't ruled that out completely!), but we agreed that we would give it a few more months. I just knew that we were meant to have more children...I knew that God was not done with our family just yet. I can so distinctly remember praying for some answer and for His will to be revealed to us for the future growth of our family. In the background, I can remember hearing the group singing "Our God is Greater". What an awesome and powerful song!!

(On a side note, City Uprising was a great experience and I highly recommend it...especially for a family and for a first timer mission trip!)

So, another month rolls around and get to play the whole ovulation kit game again...except this time, the kit never showed that I ovulated. Ugh! Fast forward a couple of weeks and you will find me on Sunday afternoon completely zonked out on the couch...with my laptop in my lap and my fingers still on the keys. Yep, I crashed in the middle of typing an e-mail.  Monday morning, I go to my workout and I stink...I mean, like puny, wimpy, what has happened to me stink. I called my doctor to make an appointment convinced that my thyroid is messed up or something and that's why I'm so tired all of a sudden. A couple of days later, David notices my exhaustion AND the fact that I was LATE!! How did I not notice this major detail?!? Oh yeah, that's right...I didn't ovulate, so why would it matter! A quick trip to Walgreens and two pink lines later, I know the cause of my exhaustion...pregnant! And then it starts...it seems like the next day every pregnancy symptom imaginable appears and is exaggerated times ten! I didn't think much of it though! I took it as a good sign that I was feeling so rotten...ha!

I made my first OB appointment to be at 9 weeks...I knew that we would be able to see the heartbeat at that point, so I was so excited for that appointment. David took off work a little early so he could go with me...since we had miscarried previously, I was a little nervous about the appointment and worried that there wouldn't be a heartbeat there when they did the ultrasound. Well, there was definitely a heartbeat there. In fact, there were two of them!! My doctor broke the news to us and I think we laughed for days out of pure shock! I mean, just a month before I was heartbroken and praying for a baby and now, we were going to have two babies...at one time! What an awesome God, huh?!?!?

To bring you up to date, I am now 24-ish weeks pregnant with fraternal twin boys! They are due April 1, 2012...April Fool's Day! (Hilarious, right?!?!) I am no longer working because I am having too many stinkin' Braxton-Hicks contractions and working puts me at an increased risk for preterm labor. I am adjusting to the idea of not working for several months and trying to relax as much as possible. I am also trying to make the most of the family time I have been blessed with before the twins get here! I guess that pretty much brings everyone up to speed! I'll try to do better at updating my blog while I'm on leave too!

Oh, in case you were wondering, I am being monitored by my hematologist to keep a check on my platelet count and so far we're doing pretty well! I truly believe that God placed these two precious babies here and He will completely see me through this pregnancy!!

Just When You Think You Can't Take Anymore

What a week this has been! Nothing huge, just the little things that can bog you down, but let me tell you how awesome our God truly is! I can't tell you how many times this week I have been at my breaking point, tears flowing, and just so uncertain about so many things. (No worries my friends, we're good!) Twice this week when I have been at the lowest of lows, I have had a friend rescue me with prayers, comfort, and scripture. You can't tell me they weren't sent straight from the Lord! I am so blessed and thankful for all of the awesome friends we have made over the years! I love you guys and I thank you for reminding me what a jewel I am in the eyes of our God!

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  -- 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Butterfly Doctor

Today we took Hannah to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital to have her eye checked....she's had a stye (it's not really a stye, but we'll call it that since it's easier to say and type!) since mid-January that just will not go away. She has been on six different antibiotics for this thing, we have done warm compresses, and anything else we've been told might help it go away. Her pediatrician referred her to Vanderbilt Pediatric Opthalmology to have it checked out since he thought it would most likely have to be surgically removed. We refer to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital (VCH) as the butterfly hospital or butterfly doctor and if you've ever been there, you can probably guess why. In the second floor lobby, which is right next to the food court, there is a huge wall of wooden butterflies that kids can make spin around. Hannah remembered those from her many, many visits to VCH when she was younger and she was super excited to go see the butterflies today! After her appointment (where we were prescribed antibiotic number 7, but no surgery!!), we took both girls to see the butterfly garden and they both loved spinning them!

Today was the first time that I have been back to VCH since shortly after Sadie was born...praise the Lord!! Just walking into that hospital brought back so many memories and emotions. They say that smell can be one of the strongest triggers for a memory and that is so true. We walked by the food court and the memories just came flooding back...I could so vividly remember eating so much Taco Bell and Pizza Hut while Hannah was there that I can't stand to eat either of them now, sending David down to get Ben and Jerry's ice cream for us as our last snack of the night, and waiting with a pager in hand while Hannah was in surgery. Looking around that place was like stepping back in time and I must admit that I got a little watery-eyed over it. For those of you that may not know, Hannah was born with imperforate anus...basically, her anal opening was in the wrong place. She spent a few days in the NICU and a few more days in the hospital when she was born then had surgery when she was five months old to correct the defect. At the time, it was such a big deal for us, but now it seems so small...I honestly don't even think about it most days. For her first year of life, we were probably at VCH 3-4 times per month with various doctor visits...usually when a child is born with that defect, a series of other problems accompany it. We were so blessed that Hannah didn't have any of the other problems...she had some minor kidney problems that self-corrected within the first year and slight heart murmur, but that's it. My emotions today were definitely that of thanksgiving and praise to the Lord for healing our sweet Hannah! It is amazing how quickly we tend to forget our blessings and today was a great reminder...thank you Lord!!

On a side note, I just want to mention how wonderful that hospital is! We have never had a bad experience with the staff there. Granted we've had our share of really long waits, but everything is geared toward kids so it's not so bad! We are so blessed to have such a great facility so close to us!

Here is a picture of Hannah after her big surgery!

Faith Like A Child

David and I just got back from a trip to Colorado Springs and, oh my word, that place is beautiful! We stayed in a hotel, compliments of David's company, that directly viewed Pikes Peak! You can't go anywhere in that town and not see the mountains! We can't wait to go back and take the girls! I just know that Hannah would be amazed at seeing a mountain that big! What a wonderful display of God's work!

As many of you probably know by now, we had a quite unexpected delay on our return flight from Denver to Nashville. We were supposed to fly out at 2 PM and I think we finally got in the air around 5:15 PM...it is exhausting to sit and wait and wait and wait! I'm really not good at it...especially when I'm ready to be home and with my girls! After everyone waited and we were preparing to board the plane I overheard a little girl that was maybe 8 years old talking to her grandfather. She looked at him and said "Papa, do you want to pray before we get on the plane?" He shook his head no and went about his business. Well, that little girl wasn't going to leave it at that! She went on to ask him if he believed in God or heaven or hell...and proceeded to tell him that he needed to believe because hell is for real and it won't be any fun! She was so certain in her words and wanted her grandfather to know it! As we started getting on the plane, we weren't seated near the two of them so I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. However, I'm guessing that Papa must have gotten an earful throughout the nearly three hour flight because we caught up to them in Nashville at baggage claim and that little girl was still talking to him about it. The grandfather asked her if she knew where she came from and, as sure as anything, she said "God made me and he made you too!", but Papa decided to tell her that she came from a monkey through a process called evolution. She told him he was silly to think that she came from a monkey! She looked at him point blank and said "Papa, you don't really think you came from a monkey, do you? God made you just like he made me and He loves you very much!" WOW!!

Why is it that this little girl can so easily share her faith and say the things that most of us adults don't have the guts to say? She was so confident and fearless in her statements and cared enough for her "Papa" to witness to him. Not only that, but she wasn't swayed the least bit by her grandfather's comments. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she has a Savior that loves her and she wasn't afraid to talk about it. If I only had a fraction of the courage of that little girl! I just wanted to run over to her and give her a hug and a high five...unfortunately, we were in an airport, Papa didn't look incredibly friendly, and I wasn't really in the mood to deal with security! I pray for that kind of courage and confidence in my witnessing and I pray that God will continue to use that little girl for His glory! Just imagine if we all stepped out and shared our faith like that little girl! This world would be on fire bring glory to God!!

I love this!!

I absolutely love this picture! What I love even more about it is the craziness that was going on when we took it! We asked my aunt Drenda to take a picture of us and neither of the girls would cooperate. Hannah wanted to walk in the grass barefoot while Sadie was hiding/pouting behind us. I just love how it all came together to capture such a great picture of our family! This is truly a snapshot of our day in and day out as a family...David and I are just smiling and laughing through the craziness while Hannah and Sadie are doing their own thing!! I love it!!

On a side note, this was taken at my cousin Megan's wedding in Huntsville and it was a beautiful wedding! She made such a beautiful bride and I am so excited for her to start her life as a newlywed!!

iPad

OK, so David is all about some Apple products...if you know us, you already knew that! Last Friday was the launch of the iPad 2 and, just like with the first iPad, David waited in line at the Apple store to be one of the first people to get one. That's his thing and I get it and I'm cool with it. He doesn't ask for much and doesn't really buy much of anything, so I am completely fine with his annual major Apple purchase. With the first iPad release, I wanted one, but didn't get it. I waited in the line with David, but opted not to get one at the time. Well, this year, Apple released these great new cases with the iPad and made it white...I'm a sucker for white Apple products and anything pink, so I couldn't resist this time around with the new iPad. David took off work early (I'm telling you, that's his thing!) and waited in the line. He was one of the first 50 people in line and he has a blast waiting in the line and talking Apple with the other fans! I had a class in Nashville on Friday, so I met him at the Apple store when I was done with the class. I had been toying with the idea of getting the new iPad since I found out about it, but I wasn't completely sure I wanted one. Well, there is nothing like an Apple launch event to get you fired up about a product. I got so excited waiting in the line with David and being one of the first people to get to even see, touch, and use the new iPad that I made a quick decision to get one. (The Apple store employee helping us assured me I had 14 days to return it if I didn't like it, so no harm,no foul!) I will be one of the first to admit, that thing is amazing! (And I felt really cool having one too!) I couldn't wait to get it home and use it! I love playing with all the apps and having my Kindle books on it and my Bible on it and all the other great things you can do on it....BUT...after having it two days (and literally being sick about the purchase) I decided to return it.

RETURN IT? Am I crazy? I was holding one of the most desired items in the world...and I returned it? Yep, I am crazy. You see, I'm crazy about strengthening my relationship with the Lord! I know, I know...here I go with my crazy Jesus talk again! (I figure that if you're still following my blog, then you must not mind it!) Here's the thing, I use my Kindle and read a lot. This year, I made a commitment to read the Bible through...and I do use my Kindle for that (and I love it!). Well, more times than I can count over the short 48 hours or so that I had the iPad, I would stop mid-sentence while reading my Bible and check Facebook or my e-mail or some other app on the iPad. That's when I realized that I really didn't need this thing in my life. Don't get me wrong, the iPad is great and some people, like my husband, find it really useful in their everyday lives. For me, it just seemed like one more thing to take away from my quiet time...it was just one more device for me to check Facebook! I already struggle with the distraction I allow Facebook to be in my daily walk, so I just could not justify having another thing that encourages that distraction.

The other thing that sealed the deal on me returning the iPad was our desire as a family to go on a mission trip this summer. We are hoping to go, as a family, to New York City this summer to be a part of City Uprising. In our prayer and preparation for that trip, I realized that the iPad cost pretty much the exact amount needed for our deposit for that trip. How could I justify spending money on something I didn't really need (or want if we're being truthful) if I knew it would hinder our family from sharing the gospel? That may seem far-fetched to some people, but that was my conviction and I truly believe that the Lord uses convictions to help guide us. I'm not saying that "God told me to take the iPad back", but I am saying that the iPad could have been a hindrance to our family glorifying God through this upcoming mission trip. Again, I want to emphasize that just because I felt this way doesn't mean I'm saying everyone should feel the same way. It's not a guilt trip or ploy to make anyone feel materialistic or an insult on anyone else's relationship with God...it's just my personal story. Everyone has their own convictions...in my opinion, because He loves each of us individually and is developing each of us differently to bring Him glory.

The Big D...and what it means to me

So, I found out today that two of our friends are getting a divorce...and it's oh-so-painful for me to see. I think this is the first time any of our couple friends that we're close to have gone through this, so it's especially bothersome for me. (And by two of our friends, I mean two separate couples!) Let me share my past so you can maybe understand my point of view on this subject.

I fully understand that sometimes a marriage just doesn't work out and that in certain circumstances, especially abusive situations, God doesn't desire for any of His children to suffer in a marriage. With that being said, I just can't tell you enough how hard and painful divorce is on a family. My parents were divorced very early in my life...I think I was about four years old at the time....I'm really not sure because I was so young. Let's just say that I was young enough that I don't have any memories of my parents being together. I don't have those childhood memories of the whole family going to church together or going to get ice cream together and all those other fun things families do together...those memories just aren't there for me. Did I have a terrible childhood? No way...I had the most wonderful, caring, loving mother and grandparents a child could ask for! My childhood is filled with memories of long days playing at my grandparents house and they are all wonderful...wouldn't trade those days for anything! I am so blessed to have been able to be so close to my grandparents!

However, the other side of those wonderful memories are those that are filled with the guilt and pain that I was the reason that my parents got divorced. I think all I ever wanted as a child was my father's love and approval...I truly believed that my father didn't live in our house anymore because of me. I lived much of my life feeling like I was unwanted and that my birth caused my father to leave our family. I know now that there were bigger issues and I was not one of them, but, as a child, that's all I could see. I guess I'm better for it because I never wanted to be less that perfect growing up because I thought that my good grades (straight A's through high school) or other achievements would suddenly make my father approve of me and love me more. I would win awards just to impress someone that wasn't watching. (But, hey, I did end up with a full scholarship to college where I met my wonderful husband and went on to get a doctorate degree and I now have a career I love and that provides for my family!) I know that there are many children who probably had those same emotions and their parents are probably still together...I'm just telling my story.

Now, I'm not writing this to completely bash one parent or the other...I have much better relationships with both of my parents now. I also have an amazing stepfather that stepped in when I was 7 and cared for me more than I will ever know...and I am so thankful for God's provision with that. At the same time, the concept of fatherly love was completely foreign to me until my children were born and I got to see first hand just how much a Daddy loves his daughters! It's at that point that I think I truly got just how much God loves us! As a teen, I was very active in church...that's what I did and I loved it. I think I even thought that I could be perfect at that too...I related my relationship with Christ the same as with my earthly father. If I was doing everything as perfectly as I could, then He must love me, but if I slip up, He would leave me. That's what I thought about God for the longest time...I just didn't understand the whole "He loves us like a father loves his child" concept because I didn't know what that meant. However, seeing how much David and I loved our girls from the moment we knew of them (meaning two pink lines on a stick!), I got it! I finally understood how much He loves and how much He desires us! What a joyous and wonderful feeling to finally understand that unconditional love people speak of and to know that there is a God who has loved me that way since I was created! (Guess what...He loves you that much too!)

So, I got a little side-tracked on the whole divorce issue. Here's the thing...I am so thankful now that my parents aren't together. I know that God works for the good and that was the good for our family. I know that I am better for it, but I would never want a child to feel the way I did growing up. All I can do is beg of you that if you are going through or have been through a divorce or if you have family that has been through that, please make sure those children involved know how much they are loved. I can see now the different factors in my father's involvement in my life (does it make it any better, not really, but I get it), but as a child I couldn't see any of that. I know now that he did and does love me and can see that/ All I could see then is that my parents were together, I was born, then they weren't together anymore. I have never known of a child being the reason for the divorce, but do the children in those situations know that? Please make sure your child knows that they aren't/weren't the reason...and please, please never play that game with your children where you put one parent against the other and say that one parent loves the children and the other does not. It's already too much for children to experience, but to place that already lingering doubt of if a parent loves them on top of it is just too much.

OK, I'm going to step off of my soapbox for now. By writing this I'm not saying I'm perfect and that my marriage is perfect or that my marriage will always be perfect, but I do pray daily thanking the Lord for my marriage and pray that the He will sustain my marriage. I am so thankful for this amazing man that God has given me! I really hope I haven't upset anyone with this...it was on my heart to share my experience and I don't intend it to be judgmental in any way. 

Favorite Part of My Day!

     This year has really started off with a bang! We have been going nonstop as a family and it really gets overwhelming at times. Last year, I took on the challenge of reading 30 books during the year...this year, I think I took on a much bigger, yet so much more rewarding, challenge. A dear friend and sister in Christ asked me toward the end of 2010 if I would be up for doing a one-year Bible reading and I'm so glad she did. At first, I thought sure, no problem, I can do that. It's just reading a little bit everyday and I already did that anyway, right?!? Well, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I really needed to pray about it and commit to it if I wanted to do it. My fear and deepest prayer concern was that I would read the Bible out of commitment and task rather than really read and take in God's word. I didn't want to find myself reading everyday just to get through it. I wanted to be in the word! SO, after much prayer and thought, I decided to take it on!
     I downloaded the One-Year Bible (New Living Translation, which is my favorite!) to my Kindle and started the one-year challenge. There are so many ways to read through the Bible in a year and I am loving this one. Each day has four small readings from the Old Testament, The New Testament, Proverbs, and Psalms. It's perfect for me because you aren't reading thirty minutes on one topic...you get a little from different parts of the Bible each day. It keeps me focused and interested...I have seriously had to stop myself from reading ahead some days because I'm so into the readings. I will admit that I've gotten behind a couple of times already...mostly because I would read and not remember what I had just read, so I would want to read it again with a new focus. I don't think I have ever just read the Bible to read it...I've always read excerpts because a Bible study or lesson required me to. Who knew it was so interesting? And so relevant? It has truly become the favorite part of my day. Just to read the stories I've known and learned about for so many years with a fresh perspective is amazing! I just can't tell you enough how much I am loving this challenge! If you've followed my blog for very long at all, you know that I am incredibly convicted about what I read. What a joy it is to be so encouraged and uplifted (and convicted if I'm honest!) by my reading!! I love it...and now I'm off to read for the day!!

Update!

Ha! You thought I actually updated my blog! No such luck, but I promise I will update soon! I have lots of topics I want to write about, but I just can't seem to find the time to do it. Hope you're all doing well! Be back soon!!