My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9
A sweet friend gave me a necklace with that verse on it last year on Mother's Day and I had no clue the meaning it would come to have in my daily life. The twins arrived on March 10, 2012 and we have been going full speed since then. We have adapted pretty well to having four kids and most days are pretty challenging, but it is solely through God's amazing grace that I make it through each and every minute of every single day. There are a few phrases that we hear repeatedly when we go out in public...."you've got your hands full", "bless your heart", "you're done aren't you?", "glad it's you and not me" (yep, they really say that out loud!), "wow, you're supermom". Surprisingly, it's the last of those phrases that bothers me the most. Crazy, huh? I mean, who doesn't want to be called "Supermom"?
I know people mean really well when they say that and I should be totally flattered. Unfortunately, it just makes me feel all the more insufficient and more aware of my faults. I feel like I have to live up to that title for some reason...like I have to take my girls to story time at the library, I have to somehow have a perfectly clean house, I have to appear completely calm all the time, I have to exclusively breastfeed the twins and have an abundant supply of milk...because that's what "Supermom" would do, right? So when I do fail at something, I feel like an even bigger letdown. By the world's standards, I feel like I should have it all together...all the time. I feel like it's not okay that my house isn't clean or my girls aren't perfectly dressed or that Sadie's shoes are almost always on the wrong feet or that I pretty much always forget something in the diaper bag or that the boys do get formula because my body can't keep up with their demand. The demands and desires of the world are so grueling and disheartening. I honestly don't know how I could make it through the day without my personal Lord and Savior. Let me rephrase that scripture..."My grace is sufficient for Wendy, My power is made perfect by Wendy's weakness." In other words, it's okay to not be perfect and to make mistakes and to struggle along the way because He's got me covered. He wants my dependence on Him. I am not sufficient for this world, but my God has grace enough to see me through those nights when Joshua refuses to sleep and the girls are arguing with each other over every little thing and those days when something as small as a shower seems impossible. This verse serves as a reminder to me that we aren't promised an easy journey, we are weak, and our weakness is God-designed so that we can bring more glory to Him. We are not in this world to bring glory to ourselves (as hard as that can be sometimes)...we are here to bring glory to God. I am not, nor will I ever be "Supermom"....I'm pretty sure she's pretty darn close to perfect. I don't want to be perfect! If I were perfect, I wouldn't need nor desire my Lord and Savior to see me through each day.
Disclaimer: This is not a pity post...I'm not looking for a bunch of comments telling me how awesome I'm adjusting or doing with this whole four kid thing. People regularly say to me "I just don't know how you do it." I just want to share how I do it...purely by the Grace of God!!