Supermom

My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in your weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

     A sweet friend gave me a necklace with that verse on it last year on Mother's Day and I had no clue the meaning it would come to have in my daily life. The twins arrived on March 10, 2012 and we have been going full speed since then. We have adapted pretty well to having four kids and most days are pretty challenging, but it is solely through God's amazing grace that I make it through each and every minute of every single day. There are a few phrases that we hear repeatedly when we go out in public...."you've got your hands full", "bless your heart", "you're done aren't you?", "glad it's you and not me" (yep, they really say that out loud!), "wow, you're supermom". Surprisingly, it's the last of those phrases that bothers me the most. Crazy, huh? I mean, who doesn't want to be called "Supermom"?

     I know people mean really well when they say that and I should be totally flattered. Unfortunately, it just makes me feel all the more insufficient and more aware of my faults. I feel like I have to live up to that title for some reason...like I have to take my girls to story time at the library, I have to somehow have a perfectly clean house, I have to appear completely calm all the time, I have to exclusively breastfeed the twins and have an abundant supply of milk...because that's what "Supermom" would do, right? So when I do fail at something, I feel like an even bigger letdown. By the world's standards, I feel like I should have it all together...all the time. I feel like it's not okay that my house isn't clean or my girls aren't perfectly dressed or that Sadie's shoes are almost always on the wrong feet or that I pretty much always forget something in the diaper bag or that the boys do get formula because my body can't keep up with their demand. The demands and desires of the world are so grueling and disheartening. I honestly don't know how I could make it through the day without my personal Lord and Savior. Let me rephrase that scripture..."My grace is sufficient for Wendy, My power is made perfect by Wendy's weakness." In other words, it's okay to not be perfect and to make mistakes and to struggle along the way because He's got me covered. He wants my dependence on Him. I am not sufficient for this world, but my God has grace enough to see me through those nights when Joshua refuses to sleep and the girls are arguing with each other over every little thing and those days when something as small as a shower seems impossible. This verse serves as a reminder to me that we aren't promised an easy journey, we are weak, and our weakness is God-designed so that we can bring more glory to Him. We are not in this world to bring glory to ourselves (as hard as that can be sometimes)...we are here to bring glory to God. I am not, nor will I ever be "Supermom"....I'm pretty sure she's pretty darn close to perfect. I don't want to be perfect! If I were perfect, I wouldn't need nor desire my Lord and Savior to see me through each day.

Disclaimer: This is not a pity post...I'm not looking for a bunch of comments telling me how awesome I'm adjusting or doing with this whole four kid thing. People regularly say to me "I just don't know how you do it." I just want to share how I do it...purely by the Grace of God!!

Whew!

I am officially 31 weeks pregnant with twins! That still seems unreal to me, but it feels very real to my body! I am really struggling with my comfort vs. the babies' health at this point. I am so much more uncomfortable than I imagined I would be and it is so hard for me to think about being this way (and bigger) for another 7 weeks. I don't want the boys to come early because I know it's better for them to "cook" a little longer, but it's so hard for me to be content and enjoy the pregnancy at this point. I won't give you the laundry list of pregnancy woes because I am truly thrilled to be pregnant and enjoy being pregnant, but it is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I would ask that if you don't mind, to please include me and the family in your prayers as we journey through this adventure!

Slightly Overdue

So, I think I'm a little late on this post! Where to start....hmmm.


Well, let me take you back a few months to our mission trip to New York City for City Uprising (which was an awesome experience by the way!). We had been "trying" to get pregnant for several months and were feeling pretty discouraged. I can so vividly remember going to our first worship gathering during City Uprising and discovering that I was, once again, not pregnant. (That's all the detail I'm going to give in that area!) I remember standing in the bathroom crying during a portion of that worship session because it was one more month and no baby. At this point, we had even started discussing adoption (and still haven't ruled that out completely!), but we agreed that we would give it a few more months. I just knew that we were meant to have more children...I knew that God was not done with our family just yet. I can so distinctly remember praying for some answer and for His will to be revealed to us for the future growth of our family. In the background, I can remember hearing the group singing "Our God is Greater". What an awesome and powerful song!!

(On a side note, City Uprising was a great experience and I highly recommend it...especially for a family and for a first timer mission trip!)

So, another month rolls around and get to play the whole ovulation kit game again...except this time, the kit never showed that I ovulated. Ugh! Fast forward a couple of weeks and you will find me on Sunday afternoon completely zonked out on the couch...with my laptop in my lap and my fingers still on the keys. Yep, I crashed in the middle of typing an e-mail.  Monday morning, I go to my workout and I stink...I mean, like puny, wimpy, what has happened to me stink. I called my doctor to make an appointment convinced that my thyroid is messed up or something and that's why I'm so tired all of a sudden. A couple of days later, David notices my exhaustion AND the fact that I was LATE!! How did I not notice this major detail?!? Oh yeah, that's right...I didn't ovulate, so why would it matter! A quick trip to Walgreens and two pink lines later, I know the cause of my exhaustion...pregnant! And then it starts...it seems like the next day every pregnancy symptom imaginable appears and is exaggerated times ten! I didn't think much of it though! I took it as a good sign that I was feeling so rotten...ha!

I made my first OB appointment to be at 9 weeks...I knew that we would be able to see the heartbeat at that point, so I was so excited for that appointment. David took off work a little early so he could go with me...since we had miscarried previously, I was a little nervous about the appointment and worried that there wouldn't be a heartbeat there when they did the ultrasound. Well, there was definitely a heartbeat there. In fact, there were two of them!! My doctor broke the news to us and I think we laughed for days out of pure shock! I mean, just a month before I was heartbroken and praying for a baby and now, we were going to have two babies...at one time! What an awesome God, huh?!?!?

To bring you up to date, I am now 24-ish weeks pregnant with fraternal twin boys! They are due April 1, 2012...April Fool's Day! (Hilarious, right?!?!) I am no longer working because I am having too many stinkin' Braxton-Hicks contractions and working puts me at an increased risk for preterm labor. I am adjusting to the idea of not working for several months and trying to relax as much as possible. I am also trying to make the most of the family time I have been blessed with before the twins get here! I guess that pretty much brings everyone up to speed! I'll try to do better at updating my blog while I'm on leave too!

Oh, in case you were wondering, I am being monitored by my hematologist to keep a check on my platelet count and so far we're doing pretty well! I truly believe that God placed these two precious babies here and He will completely see me through this pregnancy!!

Just When You Think You Can't Take Anymore

What a week this has been! Nothing huge, just the little things that can bog you down, but let me tell you how awesome our God truly is! I can't tell you how many times this week I have been at my breaking point, tears flowing, and just so uncertain about so many things. (No worries my friends, we're good!) Twice this week when I have been at the lowest of lows, I have had a friend rescue me with prayers, comfort, and scripture. You can't tell me they weren't sent straight from the Lord! I am so blessed and thankful for all of the awesome friends we have made over the years! I love you guys and I thank you for reminding me what a jewel I am in the eyes of our God!

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  -- 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Butterfly Doctor

Today we took Hannah to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital to have her eye checked....she's had a stye (it's not really a stye, but we'll call it that since it's easier to say and type!) since mid-January that just will not go away. She has been on six different antibiotics for this thing, we have done warm compresses, and anything else we've been told might help it go away. Her pediatrician referred her to Vanderbilt Pediatric Opthalmology to have it checked out since he thought it would most likely have to be surgically removed. We refer to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital (VCH) as the butterfly hospital or butterfly doctor and if you've ever been there, you can probably guess why. In the second floor lobby, which is right next to the food court, there is a huge wall of wooden butterflies that kids can make spin around. Hannah remembered those from her many, many visits to VCH when she was younger and she was super excited to go see the butterflies today! After her appointment (where we were prescribed antibiotic number 7, but no surgery!!), we took both girls to see the butterfly garden and they both loved spinning them!

Today was the first time that I have been back to VCH since shortly after Sadie was born...praise the Lord!! Just walking into that hospital brought back so many memories and emotions. They say that smell can be one of the strongest triggers for a memory and that is so true. We walked by the food court and the memories just came flooding back...I could so vividly remember eating so much Taco Bell and Pizza Hut while Hannah was there that I can't stand to eat either of them now, sending David down to get Ben and Jerry's ice cream for us as our last snack of the night, and waiting with a pager in hand while Hannah was in surgery. Looking around that place was like stepping back in time and I must admit that I got a little watery-eyed over it. For those of you that may not know, Hannah was born with imperforate anus...basically, her anal opening was in the wrong place. She spent a few days in the NICU and a few more days in the hospital when she was born then had surgery when she was five months old to correct the defect. At the time, it was such a big deal for us, but now it seems so small...I honestly don't even think about it most days. For her first year of life, we were probably at VCH 3-4 times per month with various doctor visits...usually when a child is born with that defect, a series of other problems accompany it. We were so blessed that Hannah didn't have any of the other problems...she had some minor kidney problems that self-corrected within the first year and slight heart murmur, but that's it. My emotions today were definitely that of thanksgiving and praise to the Lord for healing our sweet Hannah! It is amazing how quickly we tend to forget our blessings and today was a great reminder...thank you Lord!!

On a side note, I just want to mention how wonderful that hospital is! We have never had a bad experience with the staff there. Granted we've had our share of really long waits, but everything is geared toward kids so it's not so bad! We are so blessed to have such a great facility so close to us!

Here is a picture of Hannah after her big surgery!

Faith Like A Child

David and I just got back from a trip to Colorado Springs and, oh my word, that place is beautiful! We stayed in a hotel, compliments of David's company, that directly viewed Pikes Peak! You can't go anywhere in that town and not see the mountains! We can't wait to go back and take the girls! I just know that Hannah would be amazed at seeing a mountain that big! What a wonderful display of God's work!

As many of you probably know by now, we had a quite unexpected delay on our return flight from Denver to Nashville. We were supposed to fly out at 2 PM and I think we finally got in the air around 5:15 PM...it is exhausting to sit and wait and wait and wait! I'm really not good at it...especially when I'm ready to be home and with my girls! After everyone waited and we were preparing to board the plane I overheard a little girl that was maybe 8 years old talking to her grandfather. She looked at him and said "Papa, do you want to pray before we get on the plane?" He shook his head no and went about his business. Well, that little girl wasn't going to leave it at that! She went on to ask him if he believed in God or heaven or hell...and proceeded to tell him that he needed to believe because hell is for real and it won't be any fun! She was so certain in her words and wanted her grandfather to know it! As we started getting on the plane, we weren't seated near the two of them so I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. However, I'm guessing that Papa must have gotten an earful throughout the nearly three hour flight because we caught up to them in Nashville at baggage claim and that little girl was still talking to him about it. The grandfather asked her if she knew where she came from and, as sure as anything, she said "God made me and he made you too!", but Papa decided to tell her that she came from a monkey through a process called evolution. She told him he was silly to think that she came from a monkey! She looked at him point blank and said "Papa, you don't really think you came from a monkey, do you? God made you just like he made me and He loves you very much!" WOW!!

Why is it that this little girl can so easily share her faith and say the things that most of us adults don't have the guts to say? She was so confident and fearless in her statements and cared enough for her "Papa" to witness to him. Not only that, but she wasn't swayed the least bit by her grandfather's comments. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she has a Savior that loves her and she wasn't afraid to talk about it. If I only had a fraction of the courage of that little girl! I just wanted to run over to her and give her a hug and a high five...unfortunately, we were in an airport, Papa didn't look incredibly friendly, and I wasn't really in the mood to deal with security! I pray for that kind of courage and confidence in my witnessing and I pray that God will continue to use that little girl for His glory! Just imagine if we all stepped out and shared our faith like that little girl! This world would be on fire bring glory to God!!

I love this!!

I absolutely love this picture! What I love even more about it is the craziness that was going on when we took it! We asked my aunt Drenda to take a picture of us and neither of the girls would cooperate. Hannah wanted to walk in the grass barefoot while Sadie was hiding/pouting behind us. I just love how it all came together to capture such a great picture of our family! This is truly a snapshot of our day in and day out as a family...David and I are just smiling and laughing through the craziness while Hannah and Sadie are doing their own thing!! I love it!!

On a side note, this was taken at my cousin Megan's wedding in Huntsville and it was a beautiful wedding! She made such a beautiful bride and I am so excited for her to start her life as a newlywed!!